When "Weird" Seems Normal.

It's funny the things we can get used to. Living cross-culturally gives lots of opportunity for being exposed to what might seem "weird" from my own cultural perspective, but is totally normal in my host culture. I was riding in an auto today (facing near-death experiences at every turn---sorry Mom!), and it seemed SO normal. I even kept yawning at how "boring" my ride had been. And then I thought about the other things that I see (and smell) every time I walk out my front door. Things like... heaping piles of trash, horrendously strong BO, non-existent people or places (that were promised to be there), the head-bobble of agreement, and being stared at constantly when I'm running to pick up shampoo at the store. Things that drove me crazy when we first arrived are now just part of daily life. Of course, there are days when these things (and many others) still bother me. I don't think I'll ever truly become "Indian." As I rode along, I thought, "This is so weird that this is my life." What's even stranger is that this life is now normal to me. I can't even imagine what it will be like to go back to America again. Will I bobble my head at people? Wear bangles up to my elbows? Start using phrases like, "Veg" and "Non-veg, please" to denote if I want my meal with or without meat? I'm truly hoping I won't be totally awkward in my own culture when we return in a little over a year :) We are blessed to have friends all over the world and it's amazing to see and hear about the many, many cultures the Father has allowed to develop. All so different. And India is definitely a strange beast. And yet, with the weird "new normals" that have come with it, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Memories

Are there ever moments when you know you're making a memory? Maybe I'm just overly sentimental (or maybe it's the post-pregancy hormones), but there have been many moments in the last few months that I've noted this. Like when Haley and I rock in her rocking chair before bedtime. Every night she says, "I just wanna rock for a minute." She snuggles into me and that is our special time when it's just the two of us. Or when we have family dance parties…all of us (except Gabe; he's in his bouncy seat) spin around to One Direction's hit song "What Makes You Beautiful," each holding one of Haley's stuffed animals in our hands. Oh yeah, and we've recently added "Made in America," by Cimorell to the mix. This morning I was holding Gabe in my arms as he slept peacefully. He seems bigger, now. "A memory in the making," I thought. I tried to take it all in…what he felt like, smelled like, the sounds outside, everything…as he rested against me. They're so little for such a short time. Whether it's hormones or just sentiment, I'm glad at least some memories, I can catch and hold on to for just a moment.

Motherhood is Not for Sissies

I just looked at the clock. It's 3 PM already. I'm shocked; I really am. Where did my day go (not that days and nights are that different these days!)? It's the first time I've sat down today (other than to rock our newborn son, who has been stubbornly refusing to nap today). No complaints here, I'm just saying'. I mean, when you get to look at this sweetness, how could things be bad?

But let's be honest, here, people. Sometimes, he looks like this. And to be really honest, sometimes I feel like this too :)

As I was trying to get crying Gabe back to sleep after our sweet house helper woke him up (to say hello and see him with his eyes open), I was thinking, "Having a newborn is hard work. Motherhood is not for sissies." Not to mention an almost 3-year old, who shows her sassiness, more often than not, theses days as well. Not that I ever really thought things would be easy, it's just that they're harder than I expected. Of course, living in a 3rd world country may also add to the challenge! But Father is so gracious. He's given me grace for each day, even when I am exhausted and at a loss to do with our crazy children! I keep going back to 2 Peter 1:3:

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence…"

He really has given me, and all those in Chr!st, all we need for life and godliness. He's given me all I need for screaming children and sleepless nights. He's given you all you need for your life circumstances too. I am so thankful. He's given me J3sus. And today, that's enough. 

Gabe's Here!

It's been awhile since my last post, I know. Traveling and having babies will do that, I guess. Such is life…Some of you have asked for an update on our birth story….so here you go! Although I'm sure having birth overseas is very different for anyone who does it, hope this gives you a quick snapshot into what things were like for the Fleming four :)

In February, we headed to another Big City in a close-by state. We really enjoyed our time in there; it was easy to get used to Western shopping malls, red meat, and Krispy Kreme donuts. Our company provided a flat for us to stay in, and some friends were even in the same apartment complex (which was super helpful when it came time for Baby Gabe to be born!). We had been there about 2 weeks when I woke up one Sunday evening (well, Monday morning, actually) having some irregular contractions. They weren't very strong at first, so I just tried to go back to sleep and ignore them. By 2:30 AM they were still coming, but stronger. Still not regular, so I actually thought I may be in false labor. Toby was up by now, and we were trying to figure out if this was the real deal or not :)

We called the doctor about 4 AM, and he said to come on in (the hospital was about 45 minutes away, so I was glad we left when we did!). We dropped Haley off at some friends' home, and headed in the taxi to the hospital. It wasn't until about halfway there, that I realized this was for real. The driver realized it too, and gradually began to increase his speed. Guess he didn't want to help deliver in his cab  :) We got to the hospital, got checked out (I was dilated to a 7), and went straight to the delivery room. I asked for an epidural, but Gabe was coming to quickly (I would recommend being a little more prepared for natural childbirth, in case that's the only option you have! I know lots of people prefer this, but let me tell you…if I have the option, I'm getting some pain meds in me!). After pushing for about 45 minutes, in no AC mind you, (the doctor kept saying, "Just one more good push." It took about 50 more "good pushes" until he came), Gabe was finally born. Of course, I didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl, and nobody was telling me! All I could think was, "I"m glad that child is out!", and "Is it a boy or a girl?" After vocalizing the latter, someone responded with, "A boy!" Hurray! Gabe was finally here :) They whisked him away for cleaning, screening, and shots. Toby went to keep an eye on him, and I spent the little energy I had left trying to convince nurses that I wanted some cold water to drink (Indians have this funny fear that cold drinks make you sick, so they weren't too keen on giving me any). Finally, they agreed to cold milk, which I didn’t drink--okay, eww, and headed me to my room. We were so thrilled Gabe was finally here…it had been a long time coming. Even though it was quite the experience, of course, he was worth it! But next time…I’m opting for delivery in the States. Just saying’.

Just call him Dr. Daddy.

Warm and swaddled :)

Yes, I am as tired as I look!

Change of Perspective

Did you ever have someone you least expected, share the wisest wisdom with you? Yeah, that just happened to me. I was visiting with a friend and neighbor when she totally shared something that changed my perspective.

So, let's be honest. We're learning a new language (Telugu), and as a self-professed perfectionist, this sometimes stresses me out. I try so hard, but I still struggle with the grammar, pronunciation, and expression. Today, I went to my friend and neighbor's house to visit. Okay, I also had the ulterior motive to practice one of my Jesus stories (in Telugu) with her. I told the story. Like a machine. It was that mechanical. She literally said, "Mary, I can see the stress on your face as you're talking."

The thing is: speaking Telugu does stress me out. Especially memorized stories. I am so afraid of messing up. But after I told the story (apparently looking quite stressed out by my every word), she said, "You know, you came here to tell people about this G0d that you believe in. You want others to believe in Him too. You have to tell the story like it means something to you. Forget about the grammar, and stop worrying if you're saying things perfectly." Then she told the story, and you know what? It was beautiful. She made me believe (which wasn't hard to do, since I already believe it anyway) that this story was interesting, real, and important. Oh, and another thing: she's a H!ndu. Well, actually, she would describe herself as "not very religious," but she still follows the customs of her culture. Anyway, she get's what I'm trying to do. She doesn't understand why (just yet) but she knows I'm living this life for some bigger reason. And she knows these stories are meant to share my faith in such a way that others want to know my G0d more. I wasn't expecting to get a life lesson when I went to visit my friend today. But that's exactly what happened. 

Their first time to India...

My (MP's) parents left yesterday. It was their first time to India. I think it's always interesting to hear others' perspectives about your new country through their, at times, unfiltered lens :) They kept pointing out the copious amounts of trash and cows. And they took pictures of EVERYthing! The things we've gotten used to as "normal" were shocking to them. Through all the new experiences, we had a really great time and were able to make some wonderful memories. Maybe Baby #2 will bring them back to India in the not-so-distant future!

That pretty much sums up their arrival. Everyone was excited!

Welcome BeBe and Granddaddy!

At the park. Thankfully, nothing broke on us :)

First meal in India

My mom and I at a local park overlooking our city

My dad and I making dinner (we were frying chicken burgers, in case you were wondering!)

2 Months Old

You know, in a few days, the baby we lost would have been 2 months old. You would think by now I'd "be over" our baby's passing. Though Father has graciously allowed me to grieve (and even grieve well) there have been moments when the sadness overwhelmingly hits. A new child moves in my belly,  and I am so thankful---overjoyed, even. Still, our second baby is hard to forget. Not that I want to.       G o d provided so much comfort and growth during that season that I'm still amazed. He showed Himself as the G o d of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3). I don't remember a time when I'd felt so much intimacy with Him as during that season of suffering. As I've progressed on this journey, I'm learning the lyrics from LauraStory's song are true. Sometimes His healing does come through tears. Sometimes the trials of life truly are His blessings in disguise.

Blessings